Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who’s been screwing with this thing?

Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. 

Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours. Save me, Jeebus. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer.